Passing the Holiday Baton

Keep the tradition by planning for the passing of the holiday baton.

For many of us over 55, the holidays have long been our show — the decorations, the recipes, the table set “just right.” For decades, our homes were the center of family celebration. But as the years pass, we begin to feel the tug of change. The kids have their own homes, their own families, and their own ideas of what celebration looks like. The time comes — sometimes gently, sometimes suddenly — to begin passing the baton.

But that passing of the baton is not as automatic as it used to be. Traditions are built in the home of Dad and Mom and the family home is the “magnet” that draws the next generation for holidays and family get-togethers. Mom is still the central figure.  That hasn’t changed in decades.   What has changed is what happens when Mom (and Dad) are gone or are unable to continue the planning and hosting?  It used to be an “automatic” handover: the eldest child, the eldest daughter, the sibling closest in proximity to family members or with the biggest home took over.

It is one of the saddest trends I’ve seen in recent years as I build a career around serving the Over-55 generation.  Mom or Dad can no longer host the family and no one picks up the baton.  Traditions die, the “tie that binds” lays in tatters.  What can be done to keep this from happening?

Here are a few simple tips.

Start with a conversation, not a declaration.

“Mom, would you like a break from hosting this year?” or
“Dad, what part of the holiday do you most enjoy and want to keep doing?”
This keeps the tone collaborative rather than directive.

Keep the edits to traditions simple and slow.

Adult kids often want to modernize things — new menus, new venues, new rituals. Instead of a total overhaul, choose a few core traditions to keep (Grandma’s stuffing recipe, the Christmas Eve toast) and update around them. It signals continuity, not replacement.

Give your parents a special role.

Instead of hosting, parents can become the “honored guests” or “keepers of the traditions.” Ask them to bring a signature dish, tell the family story at dinner, or lead the prayer. They remain emotionally central, even if they’re no longer managing logistics.

Transition in stages – don’t flip the switch in one year or don’t choose a major holiday.

Try “co-hosting” for a year or two.  New house, same roles.   Or same house but kids bring the food and clean up.   Start on a “minor” holiday: a birthday or 4th of July, not Christmas or Thanksgiving.

Acknowledge the Emotion Behind it.

For many parents, hosting the holidays was a symbol of their role as the family hub. A simple acknowledgment — “You’ve made every holiday magical for us. We just want to give you that same gift now.” — can turn resistance into gratitude.

Mark the Moment

You might even make it symbolic — a toast at dinner or a handwritten note tucked into the holiday card.  I know one family who passed a literal baton between family members to acknowledge the new day.

The holidays have always been about family, love, and togetherness — not who hosts or who carves the turkey. Passing the baton isn’t stepping aside; it’s stepping into a new role as the keeper of memory and the witness of continuity.

And that might be the sweetest gift of all.

House Call is a blog written by Kathy Chiero, Licensed Realtor and Team Leader of The Kathy Chiero Group of Keller Williams Greater Columbus.  Find Kathy and her team at www.OurOhioHome.com